Mom takes 60% of the money her 13-year-old daughter earned from tutoring, insists she's entitled to $25 of every $40 her daughter earns for household expenses: 'She kept the money in her bag and wouldn’t let me see it.'

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    Happy Asian girl sitting on floor in living room and using laptop computer
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    Am I the bad guy for arguing with my parents over money?

    I (13F) am doing private tutoring to earn some money over the holidays. I taught some child how to read and helped another one prepare for an exam.
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    My mum (38F) is a teacher, and she helped me get those clients by referring parents. I get paid 40 bucks an hour, and I do everything by myself.
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    I plan lessons, teach the kids, and handle everything. My mum does nothing besides owning the house and being somewhere around the house during the session.
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    Once I got paid, my mum told me she was taking $25 out of every 40 I earned.
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    Charming lady with pencil in her hand sitting at the table with glasses and filling out documents
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    She didn't tell me about this beforehand, only AFTER the money. was already paid. She said it was because she referred the student and that the money was for bills and household expenses.
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    I was upset at this, considering not only I was the one who did the work, she never told me this, and she was taking over half of what I got.
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    I told her I didn't think it was fair of her to take the money I made.
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    I said I was okay with her taking 15 instead. She got very mad(like I could hallucinate steam coming out of her ears), said I was being selfish, disrespectful, and a bad daughter, and told me that she pays for my food, clothes, and shelter.
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    We argued. She kept screeching, I think her blood vessels were gonna pop, and I got scared, stopped arguing and agreed.
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    She kept the money in her bag and wouldn't let me see it. When I asked when I'd get my share, she said to put it in a bank account.
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    I don't have my own bank account yet (I can't get one til I turn 14 in March), so she made me use an account that she says is a joint account between us.
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    Now here is where I was bewildered. Discombobulated. Gobsmacked even. Please look at my astute calculations.
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    * I worked 25 hours total * | earned 1000 dolalrs * She gobbles up $25 an hour -- $625 * I'm supposed to get $15per hr-$375 She said there was already $100 in the account, so she only gave me $275 in cash, saying it "adds. up to $375 anyway." When I questioned this, her feathers were ruffled and (you guessed it) said I was selfish and ungrateful.
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    THIS isn't the only money issue. My dad (47M) also asks me for money a lot.
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    I've saved money from selling handmade things, red pockets from relatives, birthday money, and occasional pocket money he gives me.
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    He gambles and often runs out of money for petrol or bills, then asks me for mine.
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    Man in white t-shirt playing arcade game
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    This would be tolerable, IF he paid me back. Which he doesn't, so I argue back.
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    But it does nothing, and I have no options as I can't bash up a man twice my height.
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    And hes also my dad I understand we're not rich, billionares are evil, and that my parents provide for me.
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    BUT I can't help but argue back. AITA??
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    Greedy-Minimum-1605 Just stop working. Why work if they are just going to steal your money.
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    emeoo__ Original Poster's Reply Money is still money, I can still save it up I want to be able to purchase a slushie from the canteen hassle-free.
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    MimZWay NTA - You're right OP. At 13 there is nothing you can do about your greedy parents. You are their child who they chose to bring into this world. It's their responsibility to feed and care for you. Taking your money and claiming that you're not grateful is wild. Maybe you can tutor students at their homes and collect the cash yourself. Hide the money in your house in a secure place. Don't let your parents know how much you get from relatives. Tell your dad you spent your pocket money when
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    emeoo__ Original Poster's Reply Thank you, but I have really no other options, the students parents contact me through my mum, and directly hand the money to her. I can't go to other peoples houses because my parents are also afraid of me being like molested or smth. They are strict and pay me a lot of attention, so I have nowhere to spend my money, except for the local shops and the school canteen (which they check the reciepts afterwards). I already hide my money, but my dad KNOWS I got it.
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    IvoryDogwood Honey NTA. I would stop working until you can get an account. If there is a relative you trust I would see if they can help you get a Va k account at a bank your parents don't use. I wouldn't ask my kids to contribute to the house at 13 beyond doing some chores. Your parents sound irresponsible with money and parenting. Good luck to to kiddo
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    emeoo__ Original Poster's Reply Thank you, I think I'll try to figure out how to open an account when I turn 14.
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    Decent Front4647 NTA and your parents are pathetic. You should not be contributing to household expenses, they are supposed to be taking care of you. Your mom is likely coming from a place of fear and a little desperation if your dad is a gambler, but it doesn't excuse the both of them taking advantage of you. You at least seem to be trying to find something positive since many people would feel like there's not much incentive to work with someone basically stealing what you earn. Honestly, I ki
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    emeoo__ Original Poster's Reply I think 275 dollars is still a good amount of money, like my friend who is my age earns 7.5 dollars an hour
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    CofV You could always let your mum know that you will be telling all your clients that she is taking that percentage of the cash. She will probably hate losing face when they think she is so poor she has to take cash from her kid.
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    emeoo__ Original Poster's Reply I think my ass would get whooped for that
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    Agreeable-Book-7018 NTA. Tell her its her job to support you. That shes stealing from you
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    emeoo__ Original Poster's Reply I have, but I think there is like some sort of culture gap. We are asian immigrants, and back in their country, a lot of kids help work to support the parents.
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    FullMoonTwist You're NTA. Your stance isn't unreasonable. But it doesn't matter if you're objectively in the right. Your parents have all the power. You can ask them to stop being unfair and you can argue that they're being unfair, but you're unlikely to make any headway because being unfair is beneficial to them. Your parents are not doing this to you because they made a careful cost/benefit analysis and decided this was in your best interest. They are doing this to you because they are terribl
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    emeoo__ Original Poster's Reply Thank you for the advice, I just felt as though I was being very like money-obsessed in a way? I still love my parents but I fear money will be a driving factor for arguments for the rest of my life.
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    FullMoonTwist Possibly. They may stop when they have less power, they may decide to tank your relationship over money. From personal experience, you can still have a relationship with someone who has one terrible vice, if that's your worry. You don't need to fix them to love them or enjoy their good qualities - though life is easier if you can protect yourself from said vice It's less money-obsession, and more just... understanding that your mom taking more than half of your earnings isn't fair.
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    emeoo__ Original Poster's Reply Thanik you again I think setting boundaries/lines is something I'm figuring out still, like you said. I appreciate the advice a lot.
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    elguapo 1996 If your mom teaches the kids you're working with, threaten to tell her school that she is referring her own students to her daughter for paid tutoring. That is a complete conflict of interest as someone could argue she is failing them in order to line up tutoring to make her family money. The fact that she's taking a cut for herself just makes it worse.
  • 41
    emeoo__ Original Poster's Reply She doesn't teach at a school. It is more like a tutoring centre but for like teaching kids how to do mind calculations and memorise things.

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